Posts Tagged ‘Bias & Discrimination’
Written by Ji Hyun Lee on 22 October 2009
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We spend 40-plus hours of week at work so it comes as no surprise that the office is the number one destination spot for singles looking to make a love connection. But most people are ambivalent about mixing business with pleasure and if the relationship sours, one or both of you could be in jeopardy of losing a good job. What’s a lovelorn employee to do?
“Office romance enhances something called ‘engagement’ which is the Holy Grail of an employee’s commitment to a company’s success,” says Stephanie Losee, co-author of the book, Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding— and Managing— Romance on the Job. Losee and her writing partner Helaine Olen, have been married for 16 years to men they met at work. “We weren’t looking for love at work, but it just turned out that’s where we were meeting the men we ended up dating. Of course we had both heard the warnings about how God awful it’s supposed to be.”
According to an online poll conducted by the Society of Human Research Management (SHRM) and CareerJournal.com, a Web site of The Wall Street Journal, 40 percent of workers engaged in office romance and 42 percent of those ultimately got married.
So if you’re in a work environment in which there are many more attractive coworkers than you cacan count, is it truly okay to pursue love while hammering out the edits on the article due for that week’s deadline?
Five reasons that romancing the coworker is a do
Brad Pitt met Angelina Jolie on the set of a movie and today they have six children together. Possibly the greatest example of romancing the coworker is that of Michelle and Barack Obama who met as associates at a corporate law firm. The story of their office romance began with Mrs. Obama’s one month long refusal to accept the romantic gestures of the future president over concern that a relationship would be deemed inappropriate— she was his advisor at the time. Thankfully, she caved in to the charms of Barack Obama and the rest they say is history.
“HR professionals who say they are firmly against all office romance are perhaps not divulging the degree to which they recognize its ubiquity and benefits to the company,” Losee points out.
Research from SHRM shows that while company HR verbally frown upon interoffice relationships, a 72 percent of companies do not have an existing written or verbal policy prohibiting romantic relationships between their workers.
It’s tragic to think what would have happened, or not happened, if Michelle and Barack Obama’s law firm had a “no love between coworkers” policy.
Still, if you’re considering a relationship with a colleague or are currently in one, here are some tips to keep in mind for a successful professional and personal relationship.
5. Coworkers involved in romance tend to work better and more efficiently together because they’re involved. They will often bring the work home and collaborate better in the workplace as a result of the time they spend together— there’s a 20 percent increase in productivity after a couple falls in love, Losee adds. “When both paychecks are coming from the same corporation, you can imagine the importance to the couple in helping that corporation succeed. Everybody wins,” she says.
4. Do understand that making your work a priority is a great way to make a positive impression on the coworker that has your attention. Use this as an excuse to collaborate, exchange ideas, and produce great work. You’ll not only have your love’s attention, you’ll have the adoration of your boss as well.
3. Do use the work environment to gauge a future mate’s character. If you’ve got a coworker who works hard, is open and honest with their opinions but not overly critical, you’ve got yourself a winner. Stay in close proximity with your coworker love interest and with any luck you’ll both rocket to the top together.
2. “Make sure your romance has a life outside the office and that you weren’t driven into each other’s arms because you are the battle-scarred victims of a rotten boss,” advises Losee. If you’re coming together purely for work reasons, there’s a strong possibility that the relationship will fizzle outside of the office. You’re probably spending too much time on work projects so make time to enjoy each other’s personal interests and hobbies outside of the office.
1. Do make your job and its duties your number one priority. As long as you can be realistic about your expectations of the relationship, you should be fine if it doesn’t work out. All good things do sometimes come to an end, but it doesn’t mean your responsibility as a worker ends too.
Five reasons that romancing the coworker is a don’t
You’ve read all the reasons to pursue love on the job but now it’s time to seriously think about the repercussions that this can have on your future with the company. While there’s no denying the joy of being in a romantic relationship with a colleague, there are some very obvious perils of mixing business with pleasure— for employees and employers alike.
Likewise David Letterman has gotten himself into a bind with his office romances. The best thing about these celebrity sex scandals is for you to learn what not to do.
“I have a pure generalization that I think people should try to live by at work— ‘no fishing off the company pier.’ I also had a manager who used to say, ‘don’t get your honey where you make your money,’” says Chris Rafter, senior human resources professional. “In my opinion people should soberly consider whether getting into a relationship is worth what may be at risk,” he says.
Here are some tips on things you should not do when it comes to office romance:
5. Don’t go chasing coworkers if your intention is just for a casual hook-up. People go to work to earn a living and people go to bars for a drink and a good time. Your job is not the place for pick-ups and quickie office flings. It hurts the integrity of the workplace and your reputation as a serious worker— not to mention that you could be putting yourself at risk for a sexual harassment suit if you play the field with too many coworkers.
4. “Don’t use company email, IM, or text. These technologies are not private,” Losee warns. So remind yourself and your sweetheart that while you are at work, you should not be using the company Internet to exchange romantic or sexually explicit emails.
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3. Try not to get involved in a relationship in which one partner is a boss and the other is a subordinate. According to the SHRM research, most workers discouraged this type of pairing— 80 percent of employers and 60 percent of employees agreed that this was off limits.
Definitely do not get involved if one or more of the interested parties are married and/or involved in a committed relationship. Hold tight and withhold from acting on your desires because the consequences of being found out could end with one or both of you having to leave your jobs.
2. “It’s called an office romance because you met at work, but that doesn’t mean you conduct your romance at the office,” says Losee. While sex on the job has the thrill of secrecy and intrigue as Hollywood would like to have you believe— you saw the sexual escapades of Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhall in the storage room of Retail Rodeo in the film The Good Girl— in reality, this kind of behavior is bound to land you and your partner in trouble with the coworkers and the bosses. Coworkers who publicly flaunt their love are prime targets for office gossip and this will inevitably filter back to the management, which is never a good thing.
Radiah K. Givens, a social media strategist met her husband on the job five years ago and says that the best thing that she did was to keep their relationship private. “Office romance can work… if one compartmentalizes the workplace and your private life,” she explains. “No one ever knew we were dating because we stayed away from each other during work hours. When we got married it was truly a jaw dropper because… we kept it on the down low for two years,” Givens says.
1. Don’t get jealous if one partner gets promoted over the other. Competition between lovers can cause a major rift in any relationship. Losee recommends reminding yourself that you started the relationship as office buddies. “If your best friend got a promotion, how would you behave? Would you be petty, would you act jealous? No, you would be happy for your friend—genuinely happy.”
If tension continues to brew over the success of one partner, it’s likely that a long-term personal and professional relationship is not going to succeed for either of you. It doesn’t matter that your professional successes are measured by the same meter in the same company— couples who can’t be supportive of one another’s success is not a well-matched pair and should look elsewhere for fulfillment.
So do remember that office romance can and has worked for many couples. But also remember that there is a lot more at stake than just a broken heart. So before you start pursuing that attractive coworker with all the right words and ideas during meetings, do think it over and ask yourself, is this office love worth your job, if it came down to it?
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For more articles on work-related issues, please check out:
The Politics Series: The Politics of Facebook Friending your Colleagues | The Politics of being a Woman on the Job: Why can’t we all just get along? | The Politics of Being Young on the Job: Managing the Kid Boss | The Politics of being cute on the job: Are you too Sexy for the Workplace? | The Politics of the bad boss | The Politics of Office Romance
The Lists: | Five Ways to Battle the Office Backstabber | Ten Signs that You Might be a Difficult Employee
Everything in between: Tips for managing the Millennial Generation | When You’re Smarter than the Boss | Knowing When to Speak Up and When Not to |Equal Work, Unequal Pay: What to do if You’re the Victim of Gender Discrimination
Do you need advice dealing with awful coworkers, bosses and other workplace issues? Find the author on Twitter @JiHyun42 or email, jihyunnyc@gmail.com, and tell her all about it. You could be featured in an upcoming article!
Tags: Bias & Discrimination, competitive coworkers, dating coworkers, employee-employer relationships, good-looking coworkers, human resources, office romance, sexual harrassment
Posted in The Politics Series | 12 Comments »
Written by Ji Hyun Lee on 20 October 2009
Women have tougher battles when navigating the tricky waters of office politics but what happens when the politicking involves salary and promotion inequities with male workers?
Allison Schieffelin was a convertible-bond sales representative at Morgan Stanley Dean Witter and Company. After more than a decade of employment, she shocked everyone when she filed a sex discrimination suit against the brokerage house, on behalf of herself and 100 other women employees. In a statement to the press, Schieffelin chronicled her version of events:
“I was so loyal to the firm that I bled Morgan Stanley blue… I had the respect of my peers and remained intensely dedicated to my clients… But in too many instances, women who were better educated, had better performance… more dedicated to their work… lost out in pay and promotion to their male counterparts… From the time I filed my charge with the EEOC, senior managers at the firm sought to denigrate my work, ostracize and humiliate me… They fired me without warning… after almost 15 years of service. Morgan Stanley destroyed my career and the retaliation that I endured has had the effect… of sending a loud message to women that if they complained, they too would be diminished from a somebody to a nobody…”
Instead of just suffering in silence or leaving her job feeling demeaned and defeated, Schieffelin decided to do something about it and it paid off—literally. She and the women received a settlement of $54 million in damages.
Schieffelin is not alone in her battle. Women workers are frequently passed over in salary and promotion considerations as compared to their male coworkers. According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), a federal agency that prohibits work-related discrimination, there were over 28,000 complaints of sex discrimination received in their offices in 2008. It’s a pattern of practice all too common in a society that ironically prides itself on equality.
By bringing her case to the attention of the public, Schieffelin has helped women come out from the shadows of suffering to protest illegal employment practices.
So what can you do if you feel victimized by disparate treatment on the job?
Keep a diary of events
“Your main focus in any diary is to reconstruct harmful events, workplace discrimination, oral promises of job security or statements to show you are being treated unfairly by a supervisor,” says Steven Sack, in his book, Getting Fired. Sack is an attorney specializing in employment matters.
For example, a supervisor will always ask a female employee fetch coffee while the male coworker gets invited to all the important meetings, or the male workers get special outings to events while the women employees are left out of the fun. If there are witnesses to the exchange, record his or her comments as well. Documenting any and all discriminatory acts can be your best defense against the abusive parties should you decide to file a suit.
Go to your HR office
Put in a complaint in writing to your human resources officer, protesting the biased action of your supervisors and your fear of retaliation for bringing it to their attention. The advantage of making this formal complaint is that the company will be very reluctant to fire you. Don’t forget to keep a record of H.R.’s response to your letter.
If, even after you make your feelings known, the acts of discrimination continue and perhaps even worsen, your employers may be acting out against you as a means of driving you out. It’s time to put the gloves on.
To quit or nor to quit, that is the question
“My advice is to avoid resigning wherever possible. This is because if you resign, you may be waiving a claim to unemployment and other severance benefits, including earned commissions. This is a trap that many employees fall into,” Sack warns.
The other advantage of sticking around, even in the worst of situations, is that you have time to arm gather any evidence should you decide to pursue legal action.
File away the post-its
Keep a careful record of any paperwork that has notes from a supervisor or a coworker praising your work and professional conduct. Keep any and all emails pertaining to the positive feedback you received about the client you pleased, the sales you made, and the problem you solved.
If you’re fired for any reason, you can counter false claims from a supervisor alleging poor work performance. How can the company deny the good job you did when the praise is there in black and white?
Recruit your fellow femmes
Getting together other women 
who have had similar experiences can be powerful allies to your cause. The more people you can get to corroborate with your claims, the better your chances have of winning your case for sex discrimination.
When faced with blatant forms of discrimination, women often feel powerless and trapped but it doesn’t have to be this way. Gathering evidence to support your claims can be the first step in rebuilding your self-esteem and confidence.
Take the ax to help your case
If the company still decides to fire you, even after you’ve made a complaint to H.R., take heart—they’ve just given you the weapon you need to assert your charges against them.
To add to your case of gender discrimination, you can now also include retaliatory discrimination to the mix. In Schieffelin’s case, her termination had a direct correlation with her filing a charge with the EEOC.
File a complaint with EEOC
It’s time to call the EEOC and let the wheels of justice do their thing. Founded in 1965, the EEOC (www.eeoc.gov) enforces the Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which guarantees protection of persons of any race, religion, age, sex, or national origin.
“Employees are entitled to work in an environment free of sexual and gender discrimination. We take these complaints very seriously,” says Larry Pincus of the EEOC of New York. “What we do is investigate the companies and if we find a violation, we’ll conciliate on behalf of the charging party. If that fails, we’ll file a lawsuit. But the most important thing is that women mustn’t be afraid to come forward.”
There is no charge to file a complaint with the EEOC and all investigations and potential lawsuits are handled through a staff of attorneys specially trained in employment law. The plaintiff is not financially responsible for any of the costs of the investigation or its ensuing legal fees.
Don’t feel discouraged!
There is plenty you can do about sex discrimination: Remind yourself that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act is your best friend. If you’re diligent about doing the research and collecting the necessary evidence to support your claims, you may just end up with a settlement large enough to buy back your self-esteem.
Most importantly, however, the satisfaction you’ll experience knowing that you’ve stood up to the giants will leave you empowered. It’s a feeling that just can’t be measured in dollars.
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For more articles from Ji Hyun Lee, please check out:
The Politics Series: The Politics of Facebook Friending your Colleagues | The Politics of being a Woman on the Job: Why can’t we all just get along? | The Politics of Being Young on the Job: Managing the Kid Boss | The Politics of being Cute on the Job: Are you too Sexy for the Workplace? | The Politics of the bad boss | The Politics of Office Romance
The Lists: Five Ways to Battle the Office Backstabber | Ten Signs that You Might be a Difficult Employee
Everything in between: Tips for managing the Millennial Generation | When You’re Smarter than the Boss | Knowing When to Speak Up and When Not to |Equal Work, Unequal Pay: What to do if You’re the Victim of Gender Discrimination
Do you need advice dealing with awful coworkers, bosses and other workplace issues? Find the author on Twitter @JiHyun42 or email, jihyunnyc@gmail.com, and tell her all about it. You could be featured in an upcoming article!
Do you need advice dealing with awful coworkers, bosses and other workplace issues? Find the author on Twitter @JiHyun42 or email, jihyunnyc@gmail.com, and tell her all about it. You could be featured in an upcoming article!
Tags: Bias & Discrimination, EEOC, employment attorneys, equal pay act, human resources, suing for discrimination
Posted in Bias & Discrimination, Employee Relations | 11 Comments »
Written by Ji Hyun Lee on 01 September 2009
There are many things that are wrong in the workplace— backstabbing employees, gender bias, young bosses and bad
bosses— but let’s take a moment to celebrate some of the good things in the America, in spite of the backstabbers.
This past Thursday marked the 45th anniversary of the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1965, which made it illegal to discriminate against people based on their race, national origin, sex, age, disability and religious preference. It is the law that made it possible for everyone to have an equal chance at success in the workforce. It is what gives us the multicultural society that we live and work in.
The workplace is filled with conflict and for all of us, that conflict is possible because the Civil Rights Act was enacted. For many of us that were laid off recently, it’s easy to get discouraged with the unemployment now at a dismal 9.5 percent. Although many of us think back on all the jobs we quit and the promotion that we didn’t get, the great thing is that we all have the opportunity to compete and fight equally for the jobs and the promotions that are out there: It’s quite a wonderful privilege to have.
On this July 4 holiday, if you’re a frustrated worker or jobseeker, lets take a moment to reflect on all the advantages that is available in America. Hopefully, we can use some of these reasons to remain calm and assertive in these turbulent economic times.
10. Everyone can fight for a promotion if wrongly denied. Connecticut firefighters were denied promotions in favor of less qualified black firefighters. 
The Supreme Court ruled that reverse discrimination was illegal and allowed the white and Hispanic firefighters their due raise and promotion.
9. We work, friend and marry people of diverse backgrounds and everyone is just fine with that.
8. Though there is a recession happening in this country, most of us still have the means to survive on good food, good television and the Internet. Because it’s too cruel of a society to have to do without the Internet.
7. Our workplace issues have more to do with personality conflicts than race, gender or age conflicts.
6. Conniving bosses don’t discriminate— they’re equal opportunity backstabbers so whether you’re white, black, Asian or gay, everyone has an equal chance to be sabotaged.
5. Even if you hate your job, you’re lucky to have something, which is always better than nothing.
4. This year, we have our very first black president in Obama, a woman secretary of state in Clinton, and soon-to-be the very first Hispanic Supreme Court justice with Sotomayor. Diversity in the government makes it possible for the country’s workplace to be that much more level for everyone.
3. The Equal Pay Act was amended this past Jan. 29— The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act was enacted which made it possible for the victim Lilly Ledbetter to receive compensation for lost wages when she was paid less than male coworkers. The new bill extends 180-day statue of limitation to reset with every new paycheck and for Ledbetter who worked as a supervisor at Goodyear tires for 19 years, that is 19 years of back pay that she is now entitled to receive. Appropriately enough, this is also the very first bill signed into law by President Obama— America’s very first black president.
2. The growth of Social media makes it possible for the unemployed to find opportunities with other like-minded individuals. And this has everything to do with the brilliant, diverse, and educated people in America.
1. Barack Obama has made some mistakes and we’re okay with that— so far.
Got an office politics tale you want to share? Find the author on Twitter @JiHyun42 and tell her all about it. You could be featured in an upcoming article!
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For more articles on work-related issues, please check out:
The Politics Series: The Politics of Facebook Friend Requests from Your Colleagues | The Politics of being a Woman on the Job: Why can’t we all just get along? | The Politics of Being Young on the Job: Managing the Kid Boss | The Politics of being cute on the job: Are you too Sexy for the Workplace? | The Politics of the bad boss | The Politics of Office Romance
The Lists: Five Ways to Battle the Office Backstabber | Ten Signs that You Might be a Difficult Employee
Everything in between: Tips for managing the Millennial Generation | When You’re Smarter than the Boss | Knowing When to Speak Up and When Not to |Equal Work, Unequal Pay: What to do if You’re the Victim of Gender Discrimination
Do you need advice dealing with awful coworkers, bosses and other workplace issues? Find the author on Twitter @JiHyun42 or email, jihyunnyc@gmail.com, and tell her all about it. You could be featured in an upcoming article!
Tags: Bias & Discrimination, conflicting personalities, difficult employees, employee-employer relationships, gender bias, generational conflict, human resources, micromanaging bosses, office backstabbers
Posted in Minority Issues | No Comments »
