It’s hard enough competing in a job market where there are more qualified candidates than there are open positions but what do you do when your biggest nemesis is another woman abusing you to get to the top?
According to the Workplace Bullying Institute-Zogby survey, women single out other women 71 percent of the time. Women bullies also liked to enlist others to help target and harass other women. Fifty-three percent of the women being targeted suffered serious mental and physical harm as opposed to the 36 percent of the men who were bullied.
A question was posted on LinkedIn Discussion forums asking why women were tougher on other women and 85 percent of responses I received point to women as being more competitive, insecure and more aggressive with other women than they are with men. Others responded to me in a private email, discussing their own experiences with female bosses and coworkers— one man even responded saying, “I don’t know why but I have found it to be absolutely true.”
While not all female workers fall into the bullying category and some LinkedIn responders even shared some stories of positive relationships with their women bosses, many still acknowledged that women-on-women harassment is a prevailing issue in the workplace.
“My experience with women bosses has been awful,” says Margaret P, a print production professional. “It is shameful that some women do not have the skill set to become mentors to other women. I have been considered a threat way too many times in my career. Funny, I’ve never had a man feel that way.”
So it begs the question, why can’t we all just get along?
There is a double-edged sword for women in leadership positions. When a woman is tough and aggressive, she is often labeled a “bitch.” If a woman is friendly and accommodating, she is viewed as a “push over” and not deemed leadership material.
“Even though we’ve come a long way, women still are not on an equal par with men. The perception is that we are ‘softer’ than men. So often times, women will become harder to show they can be compete in management roles,” says Dr. Barbara Seifert, founder of Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting.
The workplace had always been a “man’s world” and women in the workforce vying for the coveted executive-level position with men is a fairly new phenomenon that the corporate culture is still adjusting to. Those in management often question a woman’s ability to lead while men are always presumed to have what it takes. Many women bosses had to climb the corporate ladder having to contend with mostly-male competitors and it maybe why some women confuse authority with aggression.
As a society, boys are taught early on to work together and play on teams such as baseball and football, which teaches them valuable skills in team effort. Girls on the other hand are raised to be individuals, to dress-up, make-up, and play with Barbie dolls and to behave in a manner acquiescent of “sugar and spice and everything nice.” As girls mature into adulthood, the spirit of teamwork isn’t as developed, and it’s often why a woman finds herself fending for herself in the workplace.
It’s common sense that bullies pick on the ones least likely to fight back and the ones most targeted are women who are often viewed as more accommodating.
“Women targets are less likely to confront in response to being bullied. But targets, of both genders, rarely react with aggression. Bullies sense who will be an easier mark,” says Dr. Gary Namie, co-founder of The Workplace Bullying Institute. “Targets do not defend themselves because either they are unable or unwilling to do so.”
In cases of bullying, both male and female bosses targeted women more frequently, albeit in different ways. Male bosses were more direct and vocal in their harassment while women bosses were indirect and passive-aggressive about it.
Typically, women target other females because they feel women are simply easier to bully. It could also be that women bosses still feel inferior to other males in the office and seek to maintain her authority by dominating the women in the office.
Faith Bell, a doctoral candidate at Walden University, recalls the time when she was the target of a female boss. “She made me terminate employees, whether I was their supervisor or not. I felt like she covertly tried to sabotage my employment.” Bell admits being scarred by her past experiences though she is quick to point out that she was able to move on by simply refusing to let one woman stand in the way of her success.
As children, girls were never quite sensitized to working together so it’s a natural progression for young women to always seek to out perform another woman. It’s a constant battle to be the homecoming Queen— the smartest, prettiest, most popular one dating the coveted high school Quarterback.
This also maybe why women tend to judge one another more often and more harshly: Competent women, intelligent women, popular women and attractive women are often singled out.
Examples of girl-on-girl aggression are exemplified in teen films like Heathers, Mean Girls and Pretty in Pink. It’s a view at how girls dominate and overpower one another in order to be the leader; it’s this concept of being the envy of all the other girls, which follows many women into the workforce.
“Insecurity is the underlying issue. Some women, who have worked very hard to get to their position in an organization, may feel threatened if a prettier, younger, more educated, etc. woman comes up the ranks quicker than they did,” says Caroline Hazen, human resources professional.
Unfortunately women-on-women harassment is a battle where there are never any winners. It hurts qualified women from achieving the kind of success most are entitled to. It also hurts the reputation of women workers and this can often lead to male employees getting to the top first.
Resolving women-on-women conflicts
As with any matters involving employee relations, the onus is on the management to resolve matter of conflicts. The problem here is that in most of the cases involving boss-subordinate issues, the company human resources managers tend to look the other way, putting the blame on what is presumed to be the “difficult employee.” The boss is usually the one with power and in a game of power politicking, the subordinate is always deemed more dispensable than the supervisor.
However this is where most companies err in judgment because it’s often more costly to continuously replace employees while making up for lost productivity. The employer must take necessary steps to alleviate and resolve conflicts between employees, taking into account those workers that frequently exhibit the most egregious behavior.
The one with most complaints against them should be the focus of the attention and if this happens to the supervisor in question, it’s best that her direct report be alerted to the situation. The worst thing that company management can do is to do nothing.
Tips for employees and bosses:
For both women bosses and subordinates, it’s crucial to acknowledge how each member can contribute to the good of the company. Always assume that you have something to learn from the other— a boss can learn as much from her subordinates as much as the subordinates can learn from the boss.
Don’t feel threatened and insecure by someone who seems to know more than you. Use their knowledge to learn different and new ways of doing something. Thank the other person for showing you something new.
Praise each other when the opportunity arises— “Nice job on that presentation.” You will find compliments often get reciprocated. This is one of the best ways of dissolving some of the tension in your work relationship.
And always be open, honest and forgiving in an effort to develop that long-term positive relationship.
Standing up for yourself, the right way
Many women feel reluctant to come forward with a complaint for fear of termination but truth is, if someone is indeed bullying you, blaming you, and abusing you, it’s likely that she will terminate you anyway. Also, remember that bullies do always back down.
First and foremost, try to approach your boss by sending an email explaining how her actions hurt your performance and company’s bottom line. Be diplomatic but firm and let her know that her abusive behavior hurts everyone in the long run.
Expect that once she receives the email, she will probably retaliate against you— reducing your pay, increasing your workload, verbally reprimanding you on your “bad performance”— are some common incidences of retaliation.
If this happens, you need make a formal complaint to HR and your boss’s direct report. Doing this could be your best defense against termination and here is why:
Indicate in your complaint that your boss is retaliating against you for approaching her about her abusive actions. Being a woman automatically puts you in the protected class so try to make your formal complaint be about getting targeted for being a woman. It doesn’t matter that the bully is another female— if she bullies only females and coddles the male employees, it’s still gender bias. Also, retaliation is illegal so if you let HR know that this is going on, they’ll be very hesitant to discharge you.
Tell your boss’s supervisor or your company HR that you feel physically and mentally injured by the constant abuse. If you have other coworkers experiencing similar abuse, try to come forward together. In all likelihood, your company management will look into the matter pretty quickly if you put your complaint in those terms.
Hopefully, it never has to be carried this far but some workplace issues can’t ever be resolved with a single complaint. But realize that often times, people who do take a stand have a healthier outlook about their career prospects. So given that, do you really want to give up your right to work in healthy environment?
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You’ve got more than 300 friends on Facebook but what do you do when you get a friend request from your boss or coworker? Lately, companies everywhere are using Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn, but more and more employees are discovering that their management is using social networking tools for purposes other than socializing. For this reason, many employees feel awkward and defensive when approached about opening up their networks to their work colleagues.
“I find it very invasive when professional contacts with whom I am not socially connected contacts me through a social networking platform. If it were ten years ago and you called my home phone for personal reasons, it would be considered inappropriate. Why is this different?” says Chris Linn, vice-president of business development at InsideVenture.
Human resources department frequently research job candidates’ background and existing employees through their Facebook profiles. Inappropriate comments and images surfaced on Facebook have shown quite a few employees the exit door. Even more are denied job opportunities. So given the circumstances regarding the regularity of social media usage in workplace, many workers and management are at crossroads about what is appropriate and what isn’t.
To friend or not to friend, that is the question Jim Gould, president at I Support, agrees to the benefits of Facebook interaction with colleagues. “It would probably help me to improve my business to see the uncensored and probably incidental comments of my colleagues, but I cannot see any advantage to them including me in their private conversations,” he says.
LinkedIn professionals were asked where they stood on friending workplace colleagues and more than 90 percent of respondents said that adding bosses to Facebook is a no-no. Adding coworkers were deemed more acceptable: More than 60 percent said they have or expected to add coworkers to their network. Still most agreed that the best solution was to keep the two worlds separate.
“I firmly believe that LinkedIn is for professional use and Facebook is for personal use,” says Jason Chu, executive recruiter at Shulman Fleming and Partners. “My personal life, as tame as it is, is still my person life. It has no relevance in my work environment.”
If you must accept, here’s an idea Many employees who want to maintain a level of privacy from their employers find it hard to deny a friend request from a supervisor. After all, how can you say to a boss, “no, I don’t want to be your friend.” Doing so could also raise serious questions about your loyalty and create tension in your working relationship. To avoid getting tangled in the office politics of social networking, some employees will even go so far as to create a second Facebook profile just for work relationships so as to not appear rude to colleagues and supervisors.
“Create two different profiles: One you share with your closest friends and one you share with everyone else. Facebook allows you to manipulate your settings so people in the latter group only see what you want them to see,” advises Trace Cohen, chief marketing officer at Brandyourself.com.
But many also argue that keeping two profiles is easily searchable and that it just makes you look like you’re trying to hide something. Some even believe that refusing to accept a boss or coworker into your social network puts a shroud of suspicion on your character.
With the constantly evolving landscape of networking platforms, workplace ethics is as complicated as ever. It’s a case of damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Friending the boss after all Perhaps you’re the exception to the case— you have a wonderful relationship with your boss and coworkers and you’ve decided to include them into Facebook page. Are you being sensible or have you just committed job-sabotage?
“I am absolutely comfortable with adding supervisors and professional contacts as friends on Facebook,” says Scott Hale, Social Media Marketing Specialist. Hale keeps his profile an even mix “between professional and personal and I believe it represents my ability to balance my hobbies with my professional interests.”
Likewise, Erica D, an associate director at a nonprofit organization agrees. Because she is a shy person by nature, she admits that adding coworkers to her Facebook page has helped develop a camaraderie that she would typically find difficult to achieve in person.
“Having positive relations in the office is so important. I think [Facebook] has helped,” she says. Erica uses updates as a way to start a conversation with someone at work. “When I ask for information or assistance to do my job, they are more likely to be receptive or willing to help.” She also points out that while she has witnessed some indiscretions with others, she herself is careful to recognize that Facebook, like all the other networks, is a public forum. “Everything I post is something I wouldn’t mind seeing posted on the bulletin board at work.”
Yes, there is an upside to having a boss and coworker in your social circle—it’s easier to build trust and loyalty within the confines of a Facebook page. For those that are judicious about sharing appropriate information, the benefit of having developed trust and friendship from a supervisor can be immeasurable.
The best advice in using any networking tool is to always be a bit guarded about what you share. Keep your Facebook page and other social networking platforms entertaining and as non-controversial as possible. While it’s easy to get carried away with posting pictures of yourself doing a wild strip tease at a friend’s party, it’s also wise to remember that a quick laugh can just as easily leave an unfavorable impression on those that are unfamiliar to you. Bottom line is you just never know who is watching.
Do you need advice dealing with awful coworkers, bosses and other workplace issues? Find the author on Twitter @JiHyun42 or email, jihyunnyc@gmail.com, and tell her all about it. You could be featured in an upcoming article!
It’s been said that with age comes responsibility so it comes as a surprise to some workers that many companies are hiring young workers to manage the older and more experienced ones. But in an economic downturn it makes sense that older workers get shed from company payroll to be replaced by younger workers with less experience and less onerous salary demands. And for some this isn’t always been a bad thing. A research conducted by The Family and Work Institute reflects a surprisingly positive opinion of younger bosses from their older subordinates. Majority of the older employees with younger employers believed that their young bosses were more
competent, and more responsive, and more supportive of their needs than managers of any other generation. Fifty-nine percent of Gen X and Baby Boomer employees believed that their young bosses were competent and capable, and an astounding 79 percent of Matures (aged 60 and over) believed that their young bosses were competent and capable in their positions.
“I appreciate the way she has come up to sit in that position. One thing I get to learn from her is to innovate. I get to know the latest way of looking at the world and the business, which we never did when I was of her age,” says Prashanth S, senior manager at CareerBuilder.com. “We were assertive then and very aggressive now. The current market needs aggression, which she infuses.”
Still this does not belie the fact that many of the older workers are not always enthused about having to report to a younger figure of authority. For many who are old enough to be the young boss’ parent, taking direction from a “kid” is a bitter pill to swallow. Research also indicates that Baby Boomers are typically the generation at most odds with the conflicting management styles of the Gen Y group.
With the ever-changing face of the workplace environment, some employees are finding it difficult to contend with the colliding ethics of the multi-generational work force.
Anything you can do, I can do better
Often times, an older employee facing a manager decades younger feels that they have more knowledge and expertise for the position. The young boss may feel threatened and feel his confidence diminish in the presence of an older subordinate.
“I had several younger bosses. I’m not inclined to repeat the experience,” says Deni Tavares, advisor at Cultivating Our Sisterhood International Association (COSIA), an organization dedicated to empowering women and youth. “It’s a case of ‘they don’t know what they don’t know’ which is a problem within any work environment,” she says.
Workplace conduct is largely dependent on one’s opinion of one another so a young boss, especially if it’s a first time in a management position may feel inclined to overcompensate and distrust any employee, young or old, who question his authority.
According to Rick Brenner, management consultant based in Cambridge, Mass, trouble can develop “if the boss feels it necessary to assert dominance over the capable older subordinate— the boss can feel threatened. This can lead the boss to behave in ways that are insulting to or demeaning for the subordinate,” he says.
Some examples of inexperienced young boss conduct may include refusing to be accountable for his mistakes, or blaming others for them, Brenner says.
And while there are particular issues at stake for a young boss managing an older staff, the bottom line is that anyone in a leadership role is bound to feel offended if people underneath him question his capacity to lead.
Trust is the best advice here. While the elder statesman may have all the answers, it’s important to realize that someone else might also have those answers but reach them in a new and different way. It could take a little longer but any employee, old or young, should trust and wait for the young manager to figure things out.
Th know-it-all who knows very little
“If a young boss comes into the job with the attitude that they know it all, they will undoubtedly run into problems,” says Mark Vance, chief marketing officer of Aquion Water Treatment Products. “I made my fair share of mistakes usually driven by inability, at the time, to see the value of input from others.
Usually, this type of young manager will be the one with least amount of management experience— perhaps it could be his first time in a management position. He may have an MBA from Harvard and have several years at a high profile company. As impressive as his credentials may be, if the new kid on the block doesn’t know how to convert past experiences with the current work climate, he is headed for disaster.
He will give orders, commandeer radical new ideas, and refuse to listen to anyone or let anyone else contribute. These are the typical signs of an overcompensating boss trying to do too much too fast. And this often translates to micromanagement of employees, which is never a good thing.
“Micromanagement destroys employee morale, increases staff turnover and negatively impacts work performance,” says Dana Dixon, a claims specialist at the Association for Child Development. Dixon, like many of her peers, doesn’t take issue with the age of a supervisor, but rather the management style of those in charge. “Practice coupled with management courses can produce a more effective…more successful, younger manager,” Dixon says.
Vance agrees that employees will give the young boss a fair chance at success if they are treated with respect and are acknowledged for their efforts. So give the kid a break and emphasize the strength that each side has to offer to the company. If differing generations can build on teamwork, soon inconsequential errors will be just that. Inconsequential.
Old enough but not good enough to lead
Resentment can also arise out of older workers reporting to highly competent and experienced young employers. This happens when the older worker is passed over for the same or similar position. Jealousy plays a large part in creating tension in a multi-generational workforce: Older workers often feel usurped by a younger, vibrant worker with a completely different set of skills and ethics.
“The younger boss is in itself a statement about the status of the older subordinate’s career. That statement can be difficult to accept,” says Brenner and this can lead to shame and loss of self-esteem for the older worker. “It is the expression of these hurts by the older subordinate that takes the form of difficulty in the relationship with the boss.”
To alleviate the tension, the one in the leadership position must make an effort to bring the team together under the same umbrella. Older workers in turn need to appreciate and value the contributions of the manager so that the young leader can show a similar deference to the subordinate.
“It can be tough to take orders from somebody younger than you are. And it can be hard to give direction to somebody older than you are. But good managers and good employees find a way to make it work,” writes Donald Trump, CEO of the Trump organization, in his blog. “Just like younger workers can bring fresh ideas and new techniques, older workers bring incredible insight and knowledge,” he says
For any employee, the key to good workplace relationship is trust. To accomplish a mutually beneficial relationship, here are some suggestions for workplace harmony for all generations. Start by listening to what the other is saying. Listening is sometimes just as important as doing, and people who are doing the talking will greatly appreciate you for it.
Acknowledge the accomplishments of your boss. It may be a simple, “good idea” or “the meeting went well” but letting someone know that they’ve done a good job makes them view you with profound appreciation which is likely to be reciprocated.
Ask for help when you don’t know how to handle a situation. There is nothing more flattering than being asked for someone’s advice.
Recognize and respect your differences in age. Even if your young boss has a style of dress and speech that is less deferential than yours, respect it and appreciate it— differences are what make new ideas happen. The manager with a penchant for indie-rock can just as well respect you for your immense love of the Beatles.
Speak up if something is bothering you. Trust is best built on open communication so if there is an idea that you want to share, don’t be shy. Even if it’s not always received and implemented, a boss of any age will appreciate the initiative you take in helping the company grow its bottom line.
Learn from each other because as much as you have the years on your young boss, he or she will likely have some new ways to resolving an issue. When you look around, the workplace is filled with learning opportunity from every colleague, boss and CEO. And who can’t do with a little more education?
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“I think beauty is an advantage in any environment or situation. Of course it won’t be a decisive factor in our performances but you can always count on it when developing a network,” says Gabriel Descalu, a corporate recruiter based in Europe
According to a study in the Journal of Applied Psychology from researchers at the University of Florida, attractive children who received more encouragement in academic endeavors were subjected to more positive interactions with others. The study concluded that being treated better in academic settings meant more substantial advantages for attractive people because of the confidence they acquired, and that translated to higher income.
But what complicates matters is the fact that the cute factor has different and often opposite consequences for male and female employees. Good-looking men are viewed with respect and admiration. Many women, on the other hand, find that a good face and a nice figure incite undue criticism and jealousy.
While many people might scoff at the notion that being attractive can be anything but a boon in the work place, many employees are finding that a prettier/handsomer face often gets in the way of doing a good job.
Here are some signs to recognize if you feel like the work environment has turned on you because of your looks.
Your accomplishments get overshadowed
You never miss a deadline. You’re punctual, friendly and always contribute ideas that get implemented. So when you produce work that is stellar, why aren’t your colleagues recognizing your achievements?
“If you want to be quote unquote ‘taken seriously’ you have to play down your looks, irrespective of what your other accomplishments might be. It’s a kind of socialism in the workplace,” says Noelle Ibrahim, a consultant based in New York.
One reason may be that the coworkers feel that your looks puts you at an unfair advantage and begrudges you any share in positive feed back.
“Frequently, people assume any achievements relate to your beauty instead of your brains,” says Dr. Helen Harkness, career counselor and founder of Career Design Associates.
While it’s important for anyone’s self-esteem to receive due recognition for excellent output, the best advice here is to not take too things personally. If the quality of your work is good, it doesn’t matter who praises you. It’s quite common in an office setting for colleagues and bosses to stay mum on good results but speak up loudly when things fall apart.
You attract unwanted attention
“Physical beauty creates notice in the workplace,” notes Dr. Harkness. This is the number complaint from good-looking female employees— unwanted attention from undesirable coworkers and even supervisors. Harkness suggests moving the attention away from beauty to one’s brains and ability instead.
For women, the challenge is to not let your frustration turn into anger. It is easy to let these feeling get mingled but when you get angry, you end up saying and doing things that you might ultimately regret later on. Be careful how tread these murky waters because any complaint can lead you in the danger zone of sexual harassment.
First thing to do if you are receiving too many comments about your appearance is to detract those praises towards your skills. If a male coworker remarks, “Those are some sexy shoes.” You could reply with something like, “Thank you. Now only if my presentation this morning was sexy enough to close that deal.”
Another thing to do is to drop hints about your “wonderful husband/boyfriend.” If men are pursuing you, they’d be more likely to be discouraged knowing that you’re in a committed relationship. If you’re single, you might try to engage in dialogue about your desire to have a big family someday. “Isn’t the Octo-Mom fabulous? I wish I could have 8 babies.” This should be a guaranteed turn off for men everywhere.
A third thing to try is by making the subject of your office conversation be always about the work at hand instead of letting conversation drift into personal territory. If the dialogue in the office is always about the newest movie in the theater, you don’t have to engage in a type of conversation that can easily lead the opposite sex to invite you out.
The worst thing that can happen is that you get labeled a workaholic and there’s nothing wrong with that.
You get treated with cool indifference
Workers that are physically attractive can also be victims of the “too cool to touch” syndrome. Many pretty women will complain that good looks often deter others from approaching and this can be damaging on the job where teamwork is often highly valued.
For men, physical beauty is an asset here because more often than not, coworkers value a man’s comeliness over that of a woman’s. “Men can be more attractive and get away with it,” notes Dr. Harkness. The handsome male employee is twice as likely to be promoted and respected than the pretty female employee.
To gain respect and acceptance from colleagues, put the focus on connecting with people in the office. Humor is always appreciated and if you can find ways to make colleagues and bosses laugh, it’s a great icebreaker. Even though coworkers may be reluctant to approach you at first, if you make your personality stand out through clever and funny anecdotes, it’s bound to bring people to your side.
“It is more about approachability. I know some folks who are not considered very attractive but are very successful in the business world because they are wonderful communicators,” says Anna Wildermuth, an image consultant coach at Personal Images Inc.
the team, your appearance can often be the driving factor in the minds of others and not the quality of your work.
“People are just ravenously jealous of physical beauty, especially if you are a woman,” says Ibrahim. Be prepared to take some hits if you are a woman working on a team of mostly women— the dynamic can be a particularly brutal one.
To avoid conflict, do your best not to bring attention to your looks. Moderation is always key in an office setting so if you have new apparel, don’t show it off all at once. Stick to neutral colors and a tidy hairdo. Your objective is to move the focus to the work at hand.Because most jealousies stem from insecurities— male and female— the best advice in combating this is by helping others know that you are on their team. Allay the fears of jealous coworkers and bosses by sharing credit for your efforts. “Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without your support.”
Try complimenting others on their successes while you secretly bask in your own achievements. Humility goes a long way in the work environment. If you are willing to acknowledge others for their efforts, it’s much harder for them to begrudge you your accomplishments. Also, there is truth to the old saying, ‘keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.’ Those that start as rivals could easily end up as friends and many successful professional relationships have stemmed from such auspicious beginnings.
You’re the target of office gossip
With unwanted attention from coworkers comes the natural tendency for people to talk. Because physical beauty incites curiosity, it makes it that much
Be wary of coworkers who spend too much time talking with you and with others. Because random chatter can easily balloon, keep conversations moderate and limited to work-related topics. Don’t vocalize your preference for anyone in the office and most definitely, don’t express your complaints about anyone.
Remember that intelligence and competence always wins out. So no matter what people say, keep your attention on doing the best you can. No one should be able to argue that you don’t work hard and that your work is less than exemplary. If you stay neutral on all non-personal conversations, chances are that office mates will just find you uninteresting and leave you to do your work.
In the complex world of office politics, it just may be your greatest achievement.
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hell. Unfortunately you’re not alone—80 percent of employees leave their jobs because of their bosses. For many people the behaviors of bad bosses begin to affect the their mental and physical health, notwithstanding his/her ability to do the job well.
“Simply uttering the word, ’boss’ drives an emotional response,” says Andrew O’Keeffe, a human resources executive of 25 years and author of the book appropriately entitled, The Boss. “It’s gotten so bad that even the mention of our supervisors can tie our stomachs into knots.” O’Keeffe, who has been observing bosses for many years recognizes the symptoms of a frustrated subordinate— feeling trapped, helpless and being plagued by self-doubt are all consequences of cruel managers. The affected employee must choose to stay in the job and be demeaned, or complain and get fired: It’s constant struggle to maintain one’s self-esteem.
“It becomes an either-or situation. In a bad economy, it’s more difficult to find a new job so managers find that their power-base is increased,” O’Keeffe says.
If you’re an employee in this frustrating situation, first thing to do is to recognize the type of bad boss you’re dealing with. For some bosses, it’s possible to reason with them because some simply “don’t know what they don’t know,” as Dave Schoof, a LinkedIn professional points out. So providing that you approach sticky management issues with diplomacy and courtesy, it’s possible to turn a bad boss into a not so bad one. But be advised that there are some bosses who are just insane, impossible and incapable of changing.
Here are some common characteristics of a bad manager and if you recognize any of them in your boss, buckle up because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
You spend days and nights producing an in-depth article that is guaranteed to bring your publication’s traffic numbers into the millions. The idea is so original that big content partners like AOL and Yahoo are calling your extension asking for syndication rights. You submit the article to your editor-in-chief and wait patiently for the permission to publish on the Web site. Three days later, you see your article live on the site but with your boss’s byline.
A manager who steals the work and ideas of his/her employees is someone who lacks work ethics and is insecure in his/her own ability to succeed in the company. They’re often incompetent and incapable of formulating their own original ideas and will resort to stealing to hide their deficiencies. Thieving bosses will never take responsibility for their bad behavior— they will blame subordinates when the company goals are not met. If there is success to be had, they will take all the credit and refuse to acknowledge anyone else. Employees who’ve had to work under such bosses often suffer anxieties and depression. They feel under-valued and demeaned.
“Whenever you have a good idea, don’t just tell your boss about it. Write it in a memo and copy someone else on the memo, like your boss’s boss or another manager whose department may be positively impacted by your effort,” says Marilyn Haight author of Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Boss, How to Survive 13 Types of Dysfunctional, Disrespectful, Dishonest Little Dictators. “It’s hard to steal an idea when someone else knows who the originator is right from the start.”
If you want to confront your boss about his/her unethical behavior, Haight offers some suggestions on her Web site, BigBadBoss.com.
• Keep an “audit trail of how you came up with the idea and developed it into a workable asset.”
• Keep a careful record of all emails and memos that document the completion of your work.
• Send your boss a written memo, email it if you like, asking how s/he was able to take credit for the work that you did. Be diplomatic and expect that the response you get will most likely be unsatisfactory.
Unfortunately, confronting a thieving boss will in most cases, lead to negative results. The aggrieved employee will likely be retaliated against or bullied into resigning in many instances.
Still, if you’re ready to face the possibility of being discharged, confronting your boss is still a good way to regain a modicum of your self-respect. But if you’re afraid of getting fired, you can just sit tight and hope that the poor ethics of your boss eventually catches up to him/her.
Friendly and likable bosses can appear at first to be the “cool” boss. They often come across as a work buddy, more so than one in a leadership position. While this may seem like an ideal scenario for many people, there are distinct reasons why some bosses work this way.
For one, trying to be popular is often a sign of someone who lacks confidence. It can be deceptive because they’re so damn likeable but in truth, bosses who work too hard to gain respect from their subordinates ultimately end up losing it. A good boss should work to be respected, not liked because part of good management involves making tough decisions, which is often unpopular.
“I have seen what seemed like wonderful working relationships go sour over and over, because of the friendship that develops,” says Lynn Brown, an SEO consultant at Canzdesign.com. “The boss doesn’t like to point out errors in case that affects the friendship and then ends up resenting the employee.”
In the event that you happen to report to one of these friendly bosses, try to remember that they have firing power. No matter how approachable and accommodating they may seem at first, never underestimate their position by taking advantage of a nice boss’s friendly persona. They may grant you the days off but it’s very possible that they internally resent you for it. If given the chance, there is a very strong possibility that they will choose to exercise their right to fire if they feel you don’t respect them
A boss who is constantly hovering over you, calling you over, checking up on you, is a micromanaging boss. This kind of boss is controlling because they lack confidence in their own abilities and as a result, resort to over-managing. These bosses are not only incapable of managing personnel they’re often incompetent in their own duties and often typify the Peter Principle, a theory that a manager is promoted to a level of incompetence. The micromanager is often lazy, expecting subordinates to do all the work, including his/her own duties.
Tim Mayeur, a Millennial employee shares his experience with a micro-manager who insisted on his employees’ participating in decision-making exercises. “They asked us to rationalize our decisions while he picked them apart,” Mayeur says. He also recalls that everyone’s phone calls were monitored—even employees’ bathroom breaks were marked on the office white board.
“This micromanager did absolutely zero work nor contributed anything to the job in three years, utilizing politics to stay in the position, would tell people that they were responsible for things they weren’t,” he says.
Many employees feel trapped and greatly stressed out when they’re over-managed. Bad leadership also creates a barrier between the boss and the employees and this also creates distrust in the work environment. The worst part about working with such an employer is that most often, these bosses cannot be reasoned with: Anything you say to contradict a micromanager can be seen as insubordination, which can easily land you in termination territory.
So unless you’re prepared for the worst-case scenario, the best advice here is to just grin and bear it until a better job comes along.
The bullying boss
Workplace bullying, more damaging than sexual harassment
A boss, who threatens employees, uses scare tactics, makes unfounded accusations, screams and abuses, is a workplace bully and one of the most harmful types of people to deal with. Employees who contend on daily basis with a bullying boss have suffered serious mental and health consequences as a result of being exposed to abusive behaviors.
According to WBI-Zogby U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey, 54 million Americans are bullied each year and the effect of workplace abuse on employees was more detrimental to their health than that of sexual harassment.
Beverly Peterson, a documentary filmmaker based in New York, suffered similarly at the hands of an abusive boss. “In little more than two years, my boss bullied her way through six or more employees in the same position before me. The better I was at my job, the better she got at being a bully and the more outrageous her behavior became,” she recalls.
When Peterson contacted an attorney, she was told that workplace bullying was in fact legal and that there was really nothing she could do. Peterson was so traumatized by her experience with a bullying boss that she began a crusade to end workplace abuse. She started filming the experiences of other victims in an effort to raise awareness on this issue and its devastating effects on employees: She is also the founder of nojobisworththis.com, a Web site that explores workplace abuses.
“This is about those rogue bosses who have slithered their way up through the cracks in the corporate ladder. The ones determined to target one employee after another and emotionally destroy them. In the schoolyard we learned to stand up to a bully. But in the workplace, the… same approach might cost you your job, benefits, savings, and your health,” Peterson says.
Now the government is stepping in to combat workplace harassment: New York State is working on passing a bill to study the affect of hostile work environments. There are laws to protect employees against discrimination and sexual harassment but no specific law protecting workers against workplace abuse and bullying. This study bill will be the first step in implementing an anti-bullying policy against employers. In parts of Canada and Europe, anti-workplace abuse law is in full effect.
“Everybody knows the difference between right and wrong. If people cannot go to work because they’re sick to their stomach everyday and because they’re being taken advantage of, or they’re being yelled at, these things are wrong and we’re asking the Department of Labor, in a comprehensive way, to help us,” says NY Assemblyman Mark Schroeder. State Senator Ruth Hassell-Thompson links workplace abuse as a form of domestic violence.
Peterson believes that if appropriate laws are enacted, bullying and abusive bosses can be put on guard and eventually stopped.
“I can’t wait for the public forum this will create in allowing all of us… to address this issue from a legal standpoint. I’d like to see this include business leaders, HR representatives, advocates and researchers,” Peterson says. “Most aggressive managers can change their behavior when faced with a truly firm understanding that this behavior will not be tolerated by upper management. For me, the law steps in to protect the employee in cases when the management is unwilling to”
Tracey and Kali’s Law chronicles the after effects of a single mother Tracey, whose boss threatened her with isolation and psychological intimidation. After leaving the job, Tracey suffered severe depression, lost her home, and savings.
Marlene’s Law tells the story of a woman whose boss terrorized her so much that she ultimately committed suicide.
This is the boss who “buddies up” to subordinates by taking employees out for lunch, buying them the occasional coffee or delegating assignments in a way that is suspiciously too comfortable and easy-going. If these signs match that off your own boss, it’s very possible that you’ve got a two-faced boss ready to show an ugly side.
If a male boss is buddying up with female subordinates that can easily signal a boss that’s taking an interest in items that aren’t work-related. The last thing any a woman needs is unwanted attention from a boss so be very careful when being greeted with overly friendly gestures from a male supervisor.
An insecure manager may turn to putting on two-faces to accommodate different work dynamics. S/he may smile and cozy up to upper-level management while screaming and micromanaging the subordinates.
It’s also possible that double-sided bosses may change faces depending on the fluctuating facets of the work environment. The manager may suffer from a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome in which s/he may be sort that cannot handle the pressure of time management and resort to contrasting personalities. In the calm of the storm, this type of boss will be the sweetest and most accommodating of people but during moments of the storm itself, s/he will morph into a Mr. Hyde character shouting, accusing and threatening subordinates
The best advice for working under such unpredictable managers is to keep a back up copy of all your work and to keep others on the update of your progress. That way, accusations can be backed up and there will be a copy of your work in case your boss pretends not to have received it. And always smile while keeping an eye in the back of your head.
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While these traits describe many workers today, a little confidence and a bit of self-esteem when viewed in a competitive work environment can easily manifest itself into an over-abundance of self-worth. Coworkers and managers can recognize this and label someone difficult. If the work atmosphere is devoid of strong management, trouble is likely to ensue for the targeted ‘difficult’ employee.
“People do like to talk about difficult employees but I think that both concepts implicitly put 100 percent of the responsibility on the identified person. Rarely is this the case,” says Rick Brenner, a principal at Chaco Canyon Consulting, an organizational management company specializing in workplace conflicts. “Usually, both parties to a relationship contribute something to the problems. So I like to think about ‘difficult’ relationships.”
Unfortunately, an employee’s likability factor rarely has anything to do with popularity, skill-set and intelligence. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of being in the right place, at right time, with the right people. Not all employees are created equal and because the work environment is a land mine of conflicting personalities, ask yourself if you could be the problem.
Here are some signs to recognize in order to avoid getting labeled a difficult employee.
10. Everyone in the office knows of all your personal problems
There is something to be said for sharing yourself but when you’re sharing the drama of your personal life to your colleagues, it’s a huge distraction for workers looking to meet a deadline. No one is interested in your latest love prospect or your quarrels with a family member. The office is where you work, not where you live so it’s best to keep your dirty laundry at home where it belongs.
9. You don’t accept feedback from anyone
Not only is this a sign of a difficult employee, it’s a sign of a difficult person. “Such people have little capacity to learn and to improve upon their weaknesses,” says Mark Birch, vice president of marketing at WingSpread, a technology solutions provider. It is also the one trait that is least tolerated in the workplace.
The inability to accept criticism and suggestions from others is also hardest on the boss managing the independent-minded solo staffer. In all likelihood, you will end up getting terminated if you don’t learn to take in what people are saying.
8. Getting additional assignments puts you in a bad mood
No one likes to be burdened with more work but your reaction plays a huge part in whether you’re a valued member of your organization or someone they deem a dispensable employee. Especially in a down economy where unemployment is at an all time high, managers often determine an employee’s worth by evaluating his/her work ethic. If you’re always open to additional responsibility, the company automatically sees the value of your employment.
If you refuse additional work, or grumble about it at every turn, you’ll be perceived as someone who is not a team player and doesn’t carry his/her weight and this will put you in a very bad light with your bosses and coworkers.
7. You complain to HR about your workload, coworkers and bosses
No one likes a complainer, especially one who complains about the job, coworkers and the bosses. Human Resources departments rarely intervene in office politics so if you have problems with your coworkers or bosses, it’s advised to deal with it one-on-one with the individuals involved in your issues.
It’s also very important to remember that there is always a chain of command in the workplace so going straight to HR, instead of your direct supervisor can also ruffle some feathers, which is not going to help you resolve conflicts any faster.
6. It’s always about you
If you’re always asking a coworker to take over on projects, fill-in for you on days when you take a personal day, it’s a clear sign that you’re unreliable. Again, an employee who only watches his/her own back and disregards others in the office is someone that is easily dispensable by the company.
The “Me” employee sometimes can also share similar characteristic of those referenced in point 10— someone who likes to share him/herself a bit too much with others in ways that’s annoying.
5. You don’t hold yourself accountable
“A symptom of this can be seen in people that pass the buck, or blame others for failures,” says Birch. Very few people are capable of owning up to their mistakes, but those who are capable of it are the ones who end up in leadership positions.
Those who blame others, or jump in to take credit for someone else’s accomplishments, usually end up on the bottom of the company hierarchy. These types of employees are also workplace backstabbers who watch from a distance ready to shame and blame others in attempt to create job sabotage.
4. You don’t believe in the company’s mission
You don’t have to like cosmetics or even wear it to work for Revlon cosmetics but if you’re constantly heard in the office making snarky comments about your company, its products and services, it can be damaging to office morale.
Being critical of your company also destroys the spirit of teamwork and it creates a barrier with your coworkers who are apt to distrust your judgment in projects. No matter what your company stands for, if you choose to separate yourself from your employers, your employers will want to separate from you as well.
3. You’re a know-it-all who upstages your boss and everyone else
There’s something to be said for contributing good ideas to the company but when you make it a daily mission to push your ideas on colleagues while denigrating the efforts of others, you are setting yourself up to be targeted for harsh criticism and gossip. Especially if you undermine the efforts of your managers, chances are you won’t last very long in your job.
“How the employee interacts with junior employees, same level employees, supervisors and upper level management creates an interesting situation,” says David Gabor, an employment attorney at Gabor and Gabor. “I think that the difficult employee is the one who steadfastly refuses to recognize the need to be able to work with all four groups in an effective, professional and responsible manner.”
2. You will do anything to get to the top
If success is on your radar so strongly that ethical boundaries often get blurred in your quest to climb the corporate ladder, it’s a clear indicator that you are a nightmare employee. People who disregard others by spreading office gossip, stealing ideas, or by pointing fingers is an employee who creates an atmosphere of tension in the workplace.
Distrust and hostility in the work environment is highly contagious so be prepared for an untimely exit from the company if you happen to be a worker who has on occasion sabotaged others with your bad behavior.
1. Colleagues are afraid of you
If you’ve wondered why you haven’t been getting invited out for social events with your colleagues, if people avoid making eye contact with you, or get uncomfortable working with you on a project, it may be because you’re a workplace bully. There are many mitigating factors why coworkers and even your bosses don’t want you on their team but if you recognize people moving away from you instead of towards you, there is a communication barrier around you that needs to be addressed.
No one likes a bully and if you’re one of those people who have been labeled, “aggressive” and “pushy,” you need to soften up and re-brand yourself to be more approachable.
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A hiring manager tells the story of a college graduate who interviewed for an entry-level position at her small b-to-b publication. During the interview the candidate asked for a starting salary of $85,000— that is $50,000 above what the company had budgeted for the position. More and more, HR professionals are coming face to face with a generation of gifted individuals with an over-abundant amount of self-worth and a propensity for voicing their opinions. They’re tech-savvy— many of them will have already built their own Web sites and have a personal media kit on Facebook and Twitter accessible via cell phones. They are impatient but always eager to learn and quick to do so. They are the Millennials, or Generation Y, and in another three years the work force will be flooded with 31 million of them.
“This is the generation that has lived a protected life. They were raised by work-obsessed parents who gave them everything to make up for the time away,” says Roberta Matuson president and founder of Human Resource Solutions, a management consulting firm based in Massachusetts. “They question the status quo… and expect to make an impact on day one.”
It is when companies are forced to contend with the young worker’s impatience to get ahead that often causes friction. “They seem to feel entitled to a raise and promotion in a week, that corner office in six. They want things now, now, now,” agrees Dr. Carolyn Martin, co-author of Managing the Generation Mix (HRD Press 2002) and a keynote speaker with RainmakerThinking, an organization that conducts research and training on the intergenerational work force. This is the number one complaint she receives from her clients and for many of these baby boomer managers, the generation gap in attitude and work ethics can be frustrating.
These high maintenance Millennials, like their predecessors Generation X, are great multi-taskers but with 10 times the speed of their older siblings. Born in an era of cyberspace, blogospheres and music downloads, they come into the work force with technological knowledge that didn’t exist even when Gen Xers were entering the work force. “This generation understands that there is no need to stay up all night to make an overseas phone call. They can simply text message the person with the information they need and continue the conversation the next day on their own time,” Matuson says.
Armed with a hunger for new challenges and innovative ideas on fast-forward, this new crop is a force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, most businesses are not utilizing their young employees to their fullest potential. “Companies have yet to recognize that they need to take the time to figure out where these people are coming from,” says Matuson. “They want them to be like they were, which isn’t going to happen anytime soon. Someone’s got to adjust and it certainly isn’t going to be the people from this generation.” With Millennials expected to outnumber Gen Xers by 2010 and over one million baby boomers steadily leaving the work force year after year, companies are going to have to re-think their strategy or else “there just won’t be anyone around to get the work done,” she points out.
Understanding Who they Are It’s a much different time than that of when the baby boomer generation went to work. Millennials grew up in an unstable world: There was terrorism, white-collar crimes, and an unsteady market. As a result, their attitude is reflective of the short-term goal as opposed to the long-term ones. It also explains their resistance to “pay their dues” when they witnessed first-hand how Gen Xers suffered in the technology boom and crash of the 90s. They do not see the point in working five years for a company to get ahead simply because there is no guarantee that the company will even be around that long.
“It’s a world in which there is rapid change… Seniority is not priority anymore,” says Martin. It’s why the new work force is viewing their careers with the attitude— “I’ve gotta take care of myself.” Millennials are entering the work force when there is a large generational shift in value and work ethics. “The older generation just blame Gen Yers when actually, they are just being sensible,” Martin says.
According to the feedback that RainmakerThinking received from one Millennial, their idea of job security means, “I’ll learn all I can here and as soon as opportunities to keep learning here disappear, I’ll look for a better position. Of course, I’ll negotiate the best deals for my expanded skills, experiences and knowledge.”
Because their doting baby boomer parents raised them to believe that education is the road to success, the Millennial generation also values learning and training opportunities in their career development.
“These kids are learning how to do things faster, smarter and better… They have the potential to be the most productive work force in history,” says Martin. And the Millennials know their value. This gives them the easy ability to job hop and another reason that has employers so shaken up.
Tips for Managing the Unmanageables Once companies start to see where and how the Millennial group get their perspective, it becomes easier to manage them with all their “I’m so worth it” attitudes. The best advice for a mutually beneficial working relationship is to provide good management that consistently adheres to company policy. “We have to be very clear about what our expectations are,” advises Martin, though in return, you should ask your employee what they are expecting to gain. Janis Rosheuvel, a Millennial employee at a nonprofit organization echoes that sentiment. “I think a lot of managers think they do not have to engage in a dialogue with you about what you want out of the job,” she says and that it’s frustrating when companies forget that “the employee-employer relationship is a two-way street.”
In the event of poor performance, Martin says it’s absolutely crucial to hold young employees accountable, an area that she says many managers struggle with. Similarly, company managers need to also make it clear what the assignments are, where Millennials can have more freedom to be creative, and where they should follow strict guidelines.
Here are some additional tips that Martin’s RainmakerThinking offers to companies:
Mentoring them, as opposed to managing them, is another way to approach the Millennial work force. They do not take well simply to “orders” and resent being treated like an intern with busywork handed down to them with no explanation as to its purpose. The best way to bring out the best in these workers is to teach them about the company and the big and little things that can help bring about the most productive results. Rosheuvel’s idea of a great manager would be one that is direct, honest, capable and accountable. “She or he would also be a mentor and guide through the field,” she says.
Listening is also another key attribute for a manager facing a crop of young employees. Millennials are full of ideas and they want to feel like they matter. Though they are independent-thinkers, they love working in teams so allowing them to contribute to the efforts of the organization increases the feeling that they are becoming an important part of the company. The trick here is to make them feel valued, not dismissed.
Giving consistent feedback is also an important way to establish a good rapport with Milllennials. If you can hold them accountable for mistakes, you should also praise them accordingly. Of course that does not mean managers should transition into coddling parents but remember that this is the “now” generation and they are looking at you to guide them so if the performance is exceptional, let them know right away. It is a tremendous boon to managers to recognize the needs of Millennials so that they can be efficiently trained to meet the needs of the company.
Recruiting and Retaining Young Candidates A big challenge for companies is luring this generation of workers and then retaining them.
“In a small business world, the opportunity for immediate impact is very attractive,” says Martin. “In contrast to a corporation, there is greater visibility… [Millennials] can be working side-by-side with the president of the company, rubbing elbows with the decision-makers.” The intimacy available in a small company with much fewer employees could potentially turn out to be a very satisfying arrangement for the group with entrepreneurial instincts. The Millennial Generation wants to make a meaningful contribution and the opportunities for this is greater in the small-sized company.
They are also the most socially conscious group and many opt to pursue non-profit humanitarian organizations as opposed to the usual lure of large, profit-making corporations. To help in the recruitment, make your company mission clear and emphasize all the ways that your business is serving its customers, its employees and if appropriate, contributing to society. You can also offer recent graduates an attractive benefits package—tuition reimbursement and a company-vested retirement plan— and a relaxed working environment also helps.
Ultimately, the successful working relationship between all generations is one where there is respect going both ways and a clear understanding of what is expected from all sides. Once established, perhaps the passing of the torch won’t be such a painful process after all
Women have tougher battles when navigating the tricky waters of office politics but what happens when the politicking involves salary and promotion inequities with male workers?
Allison Schieffelin was a convertible-bond sales representative at Morgan Stanley Dean Witter and Company. After more than a decade of employment, she shocked everyone when she filed a sex discrimination suit against the brokerage house, on behalf of herself and 100 other women employees. In a statement to the press, Schieffelin chronicled her version of events:
“I was so loyal to the firm that I bled Morgan Stanley blue… I had the respect of my peers and remained intensely dedicated to my clients… But in too many instances, women who were better educated, had better performance… more dedicated to their work… lost out in pay and promotion to their male counterparts… From the time I filed my charge with the EEOC, senior managers at the firm sought to denigrate my work, ostracize and humiliate me… They fired me without warning… after almost 15 years of service. Morgan Stanley destroyed my career and the retaliation that I endured has had the effect… of sending a loud message to women that if they complained, they too would be diminished from a somebody to a nobody…”
Instead of just suffering in silence or leaving her job feeling demeaned and defeated, Schieffelin decided to do something about it and it paid off—literally. She and the women received a settlement of $54 million in damages.
Schieffelin is not alone in her battle. Women workers are frequently passed over in salary and promotion considerations as compared to their male coworkers. According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), a federal agency that prohibits work-related discrimination, there were over 28,000 complaints of sex discrimination received in their offices in 2008. It’s a pattern of practice all too common in a society that ironically prides itself on equality.
By bringing her case to the attention of the public, Schieffelin has helped women come out from the shadows of suffering to protest illegal employment practices.
So what can you do if you feel victimized by disparate treatment on the job?
Keep a diary of events
“Your main focus in any diary is to reconstruct harmful events, workplace discrimination, oral promises of job security or statements to show you are being treated unfairly by a supervisor,” says Steven Sack, in his book, Getting Fired. Sack is an attorney specializing in employment matters.
For example, a supervisor will always ask a female employee fetch coffee while the male coworker gets invited to all the important meetings, or the male workers get special outings to events while the women employees are left out of the fun. If there are witnesses to the exchange, record his or her comments as well. Documenting any and all discriminatory acts can be your best defense against the abusive parties should you decide to file a suit.
Go to your HR office
Put in a complaint in writing to your human resources officer, protesting the biased action of your supervisors and your fear of retaliation for bringing it to their attention. The advantage of making this formal complaint is that the company will be very reluctant to fire you. Don’t forget to keep a record of H.R.’s response to your letter.
If, even after you make your feelings known, the acts of discrimination continue and perhaps even worsen, your employers may be acting out against you as a means of driving you out. It’s time to put the gloves on.
To quit or nor to quit, that is the question
“My advice is to avoid resigning wherever possible. This is because if you resign, you may be waiving a claim to unemployment and other severance benefits, including earned commissions. This is a trap that many employees fall into,” Sack warns.
The other advantage of sticking around, even in the worst of situations, is that you have time to arm gather any evidence should you decide to pursue legal action.
File away the post-its
Keep a careful record of any paperwork that has notes from a supervisor or a coworker praising your work and professional conduct. Keep any and all emails pertaining to the positive feedback you received about the client you pleased, the sales you made, and the problem you solved.
If you’re fired for any reason, you can counter false claims from a supervisor alleging poor work performance. How can the company deny the good job you did when the praise is there in black and white?
Recruit your fellow femmes
Getting together other women who have had similar experiences can be powerful allies to your cause. The more people you can get to corroborate with your claims, the better your chances have of winning your case for sex discrimination.
When faced with blatant forms of discrimination, women often feel powerless and trapped but it doesn’t have to be this way. Gathering evidence to support your claims can be the first step in rebuilding your self-esteem and confidence.
Take the ax to help your case
If the company still decides to fire you, even after you’ve made a complaint to H.R., take heart—they’ve just given you the weapon you need to assert your charges against them.
To add to your case of gender discrimination, you can now also include retaliatory discrimination to the mix. In Schieffelin’s case, her termination had a direct correlation with her filing a charge with the EEOC.
File a complaint with EEOC
It’s time to call the EEOC and let the wheels of justice do their thing. Founded in 1965, the EEOC (www.eeoc.gov) enforces the Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which guarantees protection of persons of any race, religion, age, sex, or national origin.
“Employees are entitled to work in an environment free of sexual and gender discrimination. We take these complaints very seriously,” says Larry Pincus of the EEOC of New York. “What we do is investigate the companies and if we find a violation, we’ll conciliate on behalf of the charging party. If that fails, we’ll file a lawsuit. But the most important thing is that women mustn’t be afraid to come forward.”
There is no charge to file a complaint with the EEOC and all investigations and potential lawsuits are handled through a staff of attorneys specially trained in employment law. The plaintiff is not financially responsible for any of the costs of the investigation or its ensuing legal fees.
Don’t feel discouraged!
There is plenty you can do about sex discrimination: Remind yourself that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act is your best friend. If you’re diligent about doing the research and collecting the necessary evidence to support your claims, you may just end up with a settlement large enough to buy back your self-esteem.
Most importantly, however, the satisfaction you’ll experience knowing that you’ve stood up to the giants will leave you empowered. It’s a feeling that just can’t be measured in dollars.
Do you need advice dealing with awful coworkers, bosses and other workplace issues? Find the author on Twitter @JiHyun42 or email, jihyunnyc@gmail.com, and tell her all about it. You could be featured in an upcoming article!
Do you need advice dealing with awful coworkers, bosses and other workplace issues? Find the author on Twitter @JiHyun42 or email, jihyunnyc@gmail.com, and tell her all about it. You could be featured in an upcoming article!
The work place is full of some seriously educated and experienced workers. That means competition is fierce and sometimes knowing what to say and what not to say can mean the difference between getting promoted or getting fired.
A great example of this is making suggestions about the workflow. Many career specialists will tell you that speaking up is a great way of making a good impression. This is often just a myth and many working professionals have experienced the opposite effect of speaking up.
If an employee is heard too often wanting to do things differently, coworkers and supervisors often perceive this as a sign that the outspoken employee is dissatisfied or arrogant. However, if an employee doesn’t speak up, that can often be perceived as lack of interest.
Here are some key tactics to remember in balancing proper work place dialogue:
Timing— Knowing when to make suggestions is crucial in getting your ideas implemented. As a general rule, Mondays and Fridays are not good days to pitch new ideas. People start the week off with a large workload so getting your point across might be a bit challenging with all the new to-do lists for the week. Fridays, likewise, aren’t good either— people are winding down and putting many of their projects to bed. Best time to suggest new plans for work would be any days in the middle of the week. But you know your work environment best— if your supervisor loves to work late on Mondays, maybe this is a good time to start a casual conversation about the “great idea” you just had this morning.
Delivery— If you have an idea for cutting costs, decide first if your boss is approachable. You might just “throw it out there” for your supervisor to think about or if you want to make it more formal, you could ask for a lunch meeting. A social setting is inviting and your ideas are apt to be received more positively by your boss.
Your Manner— It’s how you say it that often makes the difference. Just declaring, “we should all start using the same printer to save the company money” sounds less appealing than if you said, “what do you think if some of us shared one printer? It could save some us some money and help the environment.” Putting your ideas in the form of a question sounds like you’re asking for people’s input, which generally promotes a collaborative spirit and this often puts people at ease.
Know What Matters— If you have an idea that you think could help increase the company’s bottom-line, then by all means, speak up and let your suggestion be heard. But if you want to complain about a coworker, your workload, your hours, keep your mouth shut. Rule of thumb is, anything positive is a go. Anything negative is usually a no.
Remember that in navigating the tricky work environment, often times, you are your own worst enemy. Use common sense and avoid negative situations as much as possible. And, smile. It’s not as bad as you think.
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Lately, companies everywhere are using 
young workers to manage the older and more experienced ones. But in an economic downturn it makes sense that older workers get shed from company payroll to be replaced by younger workers with less experience and less onerous salary demands. And for some this isn’t always been a bad thing. A research conducted by 
when the older worker is passed over for the same or similar position. Jealousy plays a large part in creating tension in a multi-generational workforce: Older workers often feel usurped by a younger, vibrant worker with a completely different set of skills and ethics.
worth, or that 
“Your main focus in any diary is to reconstruct harmful events, workplace discrimination, oral promises of job security or statements to show you are being treated unfairly by a supervisor,” says 
who have had similar experiences can be powerful allies to your cause. The more people you can get to corroborate with your claims, the better your chances have of winning your case for sex discrimination.
A great example of this is making suggestions about the workflow. Many career specialists will tell you that speaking up is a great way of making a good impression. This is often just a myth and many working professionals have experienced the opposite effect of speaking up.